“Any child who is self-sufficient, who can tie his shoes, dress or undress himself, reflects in his joy and sense of achievement the image of human dignity, which is derived from a sense of independence.”
Maria Montessori
Dates to Remember:
Sun., 11/6/11, Daylight Savings Time Ends: clocks go back one hour; this can sometimes be a challenge for young children so it might help to adjust your schedules gradually all week
Sun., 11/13/11, 1-3pm, Austin Postive Parenting Book Club: “Parenting from the Heart” by Inbal Kashtan (the best parenting book ever)
Wed., 11/16/11, 6-7:30pm, “Non-violent Communication and the Emotional Development of Children” a parent education workshop led by Bettina Vaello, MD
Wed., Thurs. and Fri. 11/23-25 SCHOOL CLOSED FOR THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY
Wed., 11/30/11, 6-7:30pm, follow up to NVC workshop, bring your case studies
Sat., 12/3/11, 9:30-11am: “Enriching Family Time” a parenting workshop led by Megan, Laura and Sharon
As a massage therapist, my friends have become used to a few of my oft uttered sayings, among them “drop (relax) your shoulders” when I’m receiving hugs from them. Another one is what I call “the pesky rule” (of the inter-connectedness of all things) to explain in a most general way why when I touch ‘here’ it is felt ‘there.’ This “rule” really can be quite pesky when we want to do something and not think about the consequences. At other times this rule is quite liberating and brings into focus the more commonly heard “we’re all one.” This certainly has implications for understanding the deeper meanings of “community;” ie beyond “a group of individuals sharing the same space.”
Several things have come to my attention recently in a serendipitously inter-connected way. One being this quotation from Dr Montessori: “Bring the child to the consciousness of his own dignity and he will feel free.” It’s a sentence full of positive words that align with what we all want for our children; consciousness, dignity, and freedom. Sounds simple.
The second thing is the newsletter article, written by Bethany Prescott on whining, that Lisa sent out to Hawthorne families earlier this month.
Hmmm, whining, dignity, consciousness ….
Another thing that came to me quite unexpectedly was the loan of a book called My Stroke of Insight by Dr Jill Bolte Taylor. She is a neuro-anatomist who watched herself as she had a stroke. Her stroke and her 8 year journey to return to where she is today are the subjects of the book. When she lost left brain function she lost boundary definition and had instead the experience of ‘fluidity’ (where nothing had a separation from anything else – “everything is one.”
Hmmm, brain development/function, consciousness, dignity…
So, what is dignity? The 1st definition in the dictionary is: the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect. And consciousness? One definition is this: the fact of awareness by the mind of itself and the world : consciousness emerges from the operations of the brain.
It would seem then that Dr Montessori is saying that when a child gains an awareness of his own worth he is free to be himself knowing that he has the respect of those around him.
This does not mean that those around him always accept every behavior without comment or guiding response, which brings me back to the whining child.
As Ms Prescott says (http://www.bethanyprescott.com/blog/) the whining child is expressing a real feeling. We can show respect to the realness of the feeling, and to the child having it, without standing idly by as whining worsens and nerves fray. As Dr Montessori also says, “To give a child liberty is not to abandon him to himself.” In her newsletter article Ms Prescott suggests using words that are not judgmental. For instance, “use your strong voice” instead of referring to the whine as a “baby voice.” This is one way to aid bringing the child to consciousness….
The adult’s role then is to respect the child where he is and to assist him in the development of his consciousness/awareness; to “bring the child to consciousness.”
We must remember that the part of the brain that is becoming conscious during the first plane of development (0-6) is doing so in response to experience in the environment.
By preparing a space that meets the true needs of the child we are acknowledging his dignity/worth and showing respect for it. This is also true when we make eye contact or get down to the child’s level.
So, what does it mean that when we “bring the child to consciousness of his dignity he will feel free”? Free from something? Free to something?
I think that he is free from judgment to a certain degree because he knows himself (consciousness) and he feels his worth (dignity).
And, perhaps, free to step beyond a given situation.
Another definition of dignity is this: a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect – two aspects of dignity that allow for those steps to be taken.
When a child is given the richness of a thoughtfully prepared environment – where he feels the respect inherent in having been provided such an environment – he carries himself with greater self-respect and sense of self worth, conscious of his role in the space/community. Here he is free to move himself forward (with the assistance of his guides, parents and family) as he engages in activities that he finds appealing.
Oh, that pesky rule! It’s taken me on a journey through Dr. Taylor’s book, through my Montessori training albums, to Ms Prescott’s website, to the dictionary, and to various other sites as well. The thread that binds them all together is the child who is, unconsciously in the years from 0 to 3, creating consciousness and a sense of dignity. As adults, we have many chances with our children to support that – even when there is some whining …
For more information about Gio Belonci who writes this portion of the newsletter, find her blog: Montessori in Motion.
